


green is my favourite colour

by thereistoomuchbutter



Category: EXO, EXO (Band), Kai - Fandom, Kpop - Fandom, Sehun - Fandom, Sekai - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 17:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thereistoomuchbutter/pseuds/thereistoomuchbutter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>green is my favourite colour</p><p>---in which sehun wears too many of kai's clothes and kai tries to look busy while avoiding all emotions---</p><p>ship; sekai</p><p>in 4 parts<br/>first 3 parts rated pg-13 or smth - for swearing, violence and mildly sexual scenes<br/>part 4 nsfw totally smut ok</p><p>fluff/angst/University drama/smut/melodrama ^_^</p><p>themes; garden of eden, heaven, angels, satan, resurrection, earth, ribs, creation, apples, trees, nudity, beauty, love, truth, homosexuality in korea</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. --- 하나---The Temptation

"Green is my favourite colour" Kai, a 21 year old student of Sociology was telling his friend Kyungsoo. "Why, though" replied Kyungsoo, half interested. They were getting books out of their lockers for the first lecture.   
  
The day at Eden University had just began and the packed corridors were bustling with students getting ready for the day. Amongst the chatting of students Kai could hear the irritating voice of so called Snake (his real name was Park Nahash*) clearly saying something about the university being filled with sin and blasphemy. Their parents were friends before Kai's mum walked out on Kai's dad and asked for a divorce, Snake's parents were very religious and had considered this a reason to sever the friendship, divorce to them was a sin. Whether Kai's father had been unfaithful or violent was irrelevant to them, nothing was as important as the sanctity of marriage. Snake was a hateful person, brought up with a warped sense of religious bigotism- he had been arrested for assault on girls several times and seemed to consider this a badge of honour and in the same breath would scoff at the idea of homosexuality. Kai didn't know how he managed to get into university, he was very bad at most subjects in college but he was taking Law at uni. Most of the people in the uni were too old or intelligent to listen to anything Snake said but Kai had had a few years of enduring Snake whispering insulting things about his parents, so much so that 2 years previous Kai had hit Snake in the face while waiting for the bus. Keeping this memory in his mind to control his hatred for the boy Kai closed his locker as Snake slithered through the crowd to join his classmates.  
  
"I don't know, it's just...there's something unusual and wonderful about green. It's so beautiful, the colour of life" Kyungsoo didn't answer and led the way into the lecture hall. Kai had known Kyungsoo since they were 16, they always hung out but Kai often felt like he didn't care about anything at all. They hadn't been really close for a few years but when they got accepted into the same uni they both felt like they had to ally with each other. Kai had stopped talking to both his parents and was frankly glad of anyone talking to him, so he put up with Kyungsoo's cold nature because it was one of the few things he had.  
  
Kai was taking Sociology because society fascinated him, people fascinated him. This is what he told himself anyway. The simple truth was that he didn't like anyone, not really, he didn't even like himself sometimes but he always felt was so close to getting the answers, like every knew thing he found out about humans brought him closer to understanding the world and himself. Enduring two years of learning about other people's theories before he got to put it into action was not a problem for him, his thirst for learning extended far and wide. In his final year he was planning for his major study, where he finally got to question all that theory he'd learned and put it into practice.   
  
\---  
  
The first time Kai saw Oh Sehun was in a lecture. Kai was already writing his dissertation which he'd decided was going to be about students so he was covertly observing a class of first year Philosophy students for part of his study. He'd arrived early so his presence wouldn't be obvious, they would just think he was a late transfer. Sehun caught Kai's attention when he walked in as he half turned back to his friend and laughed and Kai felt a bit weird but he couldn't stop looking at him. Sehun sat about 5 rows in front Kai, he kept running his hands through his dark mop of hair and biting the end of his pencil. It was such a funny smile and unusual face and it really distracted Kai. Kai realised he must have looked pretty intense because as he left the tutor had remarked with a smile that Kai had "found something interesting to observe".  
  
Days passed when not much happened, Kai read complex theory and watched University Challenge in his flat by himself. One Friday afternoon Kai was talking to his personal tutor about his dissertation. He had notes he'd hastily written at 1am the night before in front of him "I've decided I want to continue to focus on this specific group of students, that way I'll really be able to study them in depth. I might even do some individual case studies".   
  
3 weeks later and Kai knew the back of Oh Sehun's neck by memory. He was familiar with his hasty shy answers twinged with his lisp. He liked it when he wore plaid shirts and when he came in looking tired with bed-hair. The two hour lecture only happened two days a week but Kai had come to define his whole week around those 4 hours with 15 minute breaks each. The 3 and a half hours Sehun was in the same room as Kai left him tense and agitated he almost always had to go to the gym and work off some of his tension. There was nothing sick in Kai's obsession, he was in love entirely with Oh Sehun before he had even spoke to him, in that magical way you can be in love and in awe of a friend or a celebrity you've never met. He wanted to know Sehun but he was much more afraid of breaking the spell and being disappointed, he had learned early that things aren't always as they seem.   
  
Kai had asked the tutor of that lesson to offer one on one Sociology tutoring to the students so he could get started on his individual case studies. He wanted to find out why students went into further education, how social class and gender affected their experience and the role of education in society. But to get honest answers he couldn't just go asking people so he decided to observe them personally. Many students who took certain degrees found studying other similar subjects was beneficial for them, Kai himself had done Psychology and Philosophy in his first year. So the tutors often encouraged these informal side subjects. It was like taking an extra class but there was no pressure, no exams and it was helpful for final years to teach what they had learned.  
  
Soon Kai realised he had fallen into a rhythm; entering the classroom early and sitting wishing he had just gone 3 rows down...or even a risky 4. Then biting his nails making sure Sehun would be there, glancing alternately at the clock and door until he entered. Then hoping he wouldn't sit somewhere else Kai couldn't see him (once he sat very far away, by the window and Kai had to actually work for once). His whole week was arranged around Tuesdays and Fridays 2-4pm so much that the only time he felt alive anymore was in those brief beautiful hours. He had absolutely mastered how to not look like he was watching Sehun all the time by observing everyone around him while not actually looking them. In the beginning all he noticed was Sehun, all he looked at was Sehun but over time he didn't want to draw unnecessary attention to himself so sometimes he would pretend to be looking at the tutor or at the wall when really he was still looking at Sehun out of the corner of his eye. Every so often as he walked the long way home he would think about Sehun, he'd think about the exact shade of his lips, all the things he'd noticed about him and all the things he was desperate to know.   
  
Not long after Sehun had first caught his eye, Kai came to realise that he was attracted to this person in a way he'd never felt before. It was when Sehun entered the room with a fairly low cut top and Kai could see his collarbones, chest and adams apple. He sat counting the notches in Sehun's spine for 2 and 3/4 hours, watching his muscles tense and relax, wanting to touch his skin. That was the day Sehun looked at him for the first time.  
  
There were exactly 3 times (possibly 5) that Kai was absolutely sure Sehun had looked at him. He would replay each memory over and over for the rest of the day, grasping at each tiny detail-what the people next to him were doing, the exact expression Sehun was making, the smell of his books on his desk, how long it lasted. The most memorable was the time he clung to the most. Sehun turned abruptly just after sitting down and stared pointedly at Kai. It was a few minutes after the lesson had officially started and Sehun had been a little late, he was wearing his typical button up shirt. This one was turquoise and blue tie-dye, the hemline had been cut and frayed, he was wearing it with tight blue skinny jeans. His hair seemed especially bouncy today. What only lasted a few seconds felt like decades to Kai, so hungry was he for attention and affection. Sometimes Kai would spend the whole time wishing he would turn around and look at him "look at me! turn around and look at me dammit!" but most times he didn't want to be found, most times he wished Sehun would carry on looking down, biting his lip. Kai realised he liked it this way, where he couldn't get hurt. That night Kai dreamed of small details; tight jeans with bony ankles sticking out, hair shaved at the sides, and a veiny hand holding a pen- tapping softly against pink lips.  
  
*bonUS INFO! Nahash is a Scottish name meaning snake ;)


	2. ---둘---The Conversion/The Transfiguration

Kai got 3 first year Philosophy students to tutor, one of them was Oh Sehun. After arranging to meet at Kai's student flat, and a whole afternoon of Kai tidying up the place Kai invites Sehun in. The lion's den...

"Do you want something to drink? I have coke."

"Yes please" Sehun said politely and Kai left to get him a can.

Sehun held the can away from himself as he pushed the ring through the metal letting out a loud hiss, he twisted the ring until it came off.

"Why do you come to first year Philosophy lectures if you're tutoring Sociology?" Sehun broke the silence, suddenly.

Kai was surprised that Sehun had even noticed him, the tutor deliberately never called his name or drew attention to him and Kai always tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. Kai grinned awkwardly,blushing slightly and sat down.

"I'm a Sociology final year, I'm studying for my dissertation. I need research."

"And you chose me to study?" Sehun stared him out.

"No you chose me...To teach you stuff...About sociology. And we're going to start with sociology basics...marxism, social class, hierarchies..."

Sehun raised his eyebrows and tried to make sense of what Kai was saying about class structures.

As Sehun left his tutor's flat he felt filled with bubbles, metaphorically and partially because of the coke. He felt light and happy anyway. He had never felt this interested in a person and he knew Kai was interested in him. He'd felt Kai's gaze on him as he wrote notes on Plato and tried not to let his shaky heartbeat reach his hands. Sometimes he forgot completely about Kai and would glance to the side to check where he was looking and Kai was looking at the whiteboard or the tutor. He had to tell himself it was nothing, Kai was only looking at him because he looked so weird. And even if he didn't think he looked weird he constantly embarrassed himself by saying something stupid about Sartre in front of everyone or asking a naive question. He'd studied Philosophy at A Level but was having trouble adjusting to complex theory and the presence of Kai made him feel self conscious. Lost in thought he got on the wrong bus absentmindedly and had to walk back to his student accommodation, weaving his way through the crowds of students milling around in town. Still, he had long enough to think about how glad he was that he got to talk to Kai and didn't say anything really stupid.

\---

After the first tutorial Kai didn't want to seem forward but text Sehun asking if he wanted to arrange meeting twice a week. Sehun text back quickly with a simple yes.

Two weeks had already passed and the pressure Kai felt about those two lectures had all but disappeared, now he got to see Sehun 4 times every week. And it was so, so much better than he had imagined to get to know Oh Sehun. Sometimes Kai got a bit irked at Sehun's childish nature and he wanted to tell him to grow up but in the next breath Sehun would say something with such maturity and clarity that he felt like he was truly getting to know him. They met on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and on Tuesdays they decided to go straight from the lecture "I haven't got anything else on". This particular Tuesday, two weeks in, Kai proposed that instead of taking the bus they walk ("It's only like, 20 minutes!") and Sehun reluctantly joined him. They walked past a small supermarket and Kai exclaimed that he would nip in because he needed a few things. Grabbing a trolley and heading for the vegetable aisle he picked up what he needed and went on to get some sweets. 

"Broccoli is my favourite vegetable, do you like broccoli?"

"mmm" Sehun nodded.

Kai asked Sehun what sweets he wanted and he chose Skittles. It felt nice doing normal mundane tasks with someone. Kai was so alone a lot of the time that he forgot how nice it was to just have some company. And Sehun never seemed like he hated being with him or like Kai was wearing him out or anything. He smiled as he thought of this and turned away from Sehun so he couldn't see.

Back at the flat, in the kitchen Kai emptied the skittles into a bowl and began picking out the green ones and putting them in a different bowl. Sehun came up behind him.

"You really like green huh?"

"Yeah, green is my favourite colour." Kai smirked.

\---

The bus rattled along loudly, Sehun was glad because it drowned out his thumping heart. Kai was so close to him and all he could do was look away. Their knees knocked together all the way back to Kai's flat. There was nothing ever said between them but the longing and understand was read in each others eyes. Sehun thought it was sympathy, Kai thought it was dependence. But they knew there was something.

"Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Kai asked Sehun after they had finished studying.

"No" he replied, embarrassed. If Kai had not been directing him toward the front door he would have explained why, or desperately tried to. Sehun was out the door when Kai, rushing as he said "No I haven't either. Had a girlfriend."

Neither made eye contact as Sehun turned and made his way out. Kai then closed the door, ashamed and at a loss with himself. He repeatedly whispered "idiot, you idiot" as he was making tea.

\---

Outside Kai's flat raised voices drift out into the corridor "But you can't discount free will! People still CHOOSE don't they, at the end of the day." Sehun was saying. Kai and Sehun were in the middle of one of their heated debates. Sehun was starting to look at society in a whole new light.

"Noo, because if it's predetermined by your social class or whatever you're gonna fill out what was set out for you. Yes there are anomalies but the general consensus is that if you're say, brought up into the lower social classes that you will stay in the lower social classes and when you have kids (which you will because working class families on the whole have more children than middle or upper) they will be in the lower social classes!" Kai loved their conversations, he loved getting people to think, to question the norm. Kai relished this sort of argument, one where both people don't necessarily advocate that thing that they're debating about, they're just throwing ideas around, reflecting back off of each other. He hated irrelevant small talk that lead nowhere, this suited Sehun who rarely chattered unless he was in a silly mood. Sehun didn't normally like to talk but he found his conversations with Kai interesting, Kai's passion for knowing was infectious and he couldn't help provoking him sometimes just to see him react. 

"Yeah but you can work really hard right, isn't that the whole point in social mobility?" Sehun retorts.

"Ahhh but that's the whole point. Social mobility is therefore a lie of a capitalist society that doesn't work because the odds are stacked against you."

"You're being very marxist today Kai" Sehun said with a slight confrontational smile.

"How dare you" Kai pretended to be mad, giving up quickly and breaking into a smile. Getting onto his knees on the sofa and picking up a nearby cushion only to hit Sehun with it. Sehun grabbed the cushion from him and pulled quickly, Kai lost his balance slightly and almost fell on Sehun. They playfight, laughing, until Sehun complained he had a stitch. Kai ruffled Sehun's hair as they both laughed, flushed and out of breath.

"You know Sehun, I always used to think you were really serious...My first impressions of you were that you were really...interesting and...attractive and yeah...but you always seemed really serious." Kai said thoughtfully, later that evening. It was true, the first thing he saw was Sehun's smile but he rarely smiled fully after that. Sehun said nothing but just looked down and smiled.

\---

After a restless night of imagining Sehun's lips in front of him and a heartbreakingly warm day that meant Sehun took his jacket off and bared his arms Kai was about to go mad. He'd decided to tell Sehun what he really thought about him because he couldn't stay suspended like this any longer, he felt, quite melodramatically, like he would be a danger to Sehun if he carried on the way he was. As Sehun left the room in from of Kai he turned and said "I am coming round today. If you wait here a minute I just need to get my stuff from the gym changing room."

Kai impatiently waited for 2 minutes and then headed to the changing room. There was two people in the first room putting their clothes in a locker before they left. Kai went into the other room and, stunned by what he saw stood and stared. Sehun was shirtless, his back was bent slightly as he had his arms half in a tshirt, about to pull over his head. He stopped and turned, stunned. Kai was still staring at him. It wasn't the first time Kai had seen a mans chest or the first time he had been aroused by a man but it was the first time he had seen Sehun like this. 

"Um Kai" is all Sehun could manage to say. His heart was racing and he wasn't sure to put the shirt on fully or take it off or- he pulled it over his head and said. "Don't look at me like that, it's wrong."

"This can't be wrong, it can't" Kai was shaking his head. Agitated and restless, he took several paces towards Sehun.

"Don't-"

Kai was inches away from his face, Sehun could feel his warm breath. Kai looked down and pulled Sehun's shirt down fully. Licking his dry lips a bit, he put his hands either side of Sehun's face and pressed their lips gently together. He pulled back a little but seeing that Sehun hadn't pushed him away went in for a deeper kiss. Sehun turned his head and kissed Kai back, despite himself, letting his hand rest on the back of Kai's neck. They settled into each other, Sehun let out a low groan when Kai rubbed his crotch against him. Suddenly a cough shattered them both and they broke away from each other, picked up their things as if nothing had happened and left quickly. Itchy all over and suddenly feeling very sober they walked out into the cold Autumn air together to get the bus to Kai's flat. As they left Eden together Kai glanced back and noticed Snake staring at them. 

\---


	3. ---셋---The Expulsion From the Garden of Eden

Days later, finished with his studying, Sehun picked up his rucksack from the floor and slung it over one shoulder as he left the room. He was heading towards the main entrance when his eyes were caught by two students leaning against the wall. Students weren't allowed to wait in the corridors but he thought nothing of this and carried on walking to the door when he heard someone whisper "dirty gayboy". 

Suddenly he was jolted out of his world and he found himself hitting cold, hard floor and the sounds of laughter filling around him. Tears stung his eyes as he tried to get up and the pain of the fall was settling in. A crowd of a few shocked students had gathered near them, a few other students were rushing past so as to not get involved. 

"Oh, look the fag must have tripped over." He made a mock sad face and kicked Sehun onto his back.

Sehun recognised this one as Snake. He put his foot on Sehun's chest and stamped down causing him to cough and splutter. "you dirty fucking gay, stay down on the floor where you fucking belong, with the mud"

Sehun's nose was bleeding, he reached up to wipe it with his sleeve. He was desperately trying not to cry although shock was rattling his body and he was aware of pain in several places. 

"ugh, look the fag's bleeding. I didn't know they could bleed lol" The first one said laughing as he was taking photos on his phone, acting like he was photographing a model.

Snake took his foot off Sehun's chest and kicked him hard in the side, winding him. He wanted to tell them to stop or cry out for someone to help him but he couldn't speak. 

"People like you make me fucking sick, do yourself a favour and fucking kill yourself before we do you dirty fucking cunt" he spat on him and they walked away, laughing and high fiving. 

Sehun didn't wait, he got up tentatively, making no eye contact with anyone and started walking fast out of the building, leaving his bag behind. Once he was outside he broke into a run. 10 minutes later he was in an industrial area where he found an abandoned car park to stop in. He felt sick, physically sick and vomited on some rubbish bags that had been dumped there. Then he sat leaning against a wall and leant his head on his knees. The next thing he knew was the dark and cold. He noticed the cold before he saw the dark, he felt like he was naked and cast out. Getting up, he followed his shivering breath in front of him as he tried to navigate his way out of the car park. Walking slowly back to humanity the pain and humiliation of what had happened hit him and tears began falling down his eyes where he wiped them quickly with his sleeve. There was only one place he wanted to go.

\---

Kai opened the door and immediately moved by to let Sehun past. They didn't say anything as Kai closed the door and led Sehun to the sofa, his body felt rigid and cold as Kai began taking Sehun's dirty jacket off. Tears silently slid down Sehun's face, dropping into his lap. Kai was busy boiling water, finding cloth and looking through his wardrobe for something warm to put Sehun in. He put a few things on the radiator to heat them up and went back to the kitchen to pour out the water into a bowl. Busying himself with things was his way of avoiding the pain of seeing Sehun so hurt, he also knew that to make a fuss would do no good to Sehun's pride, there was no need to talk about it.

"I heard, by the way. I heard from Kyungsoo" Kai put the bowl and cloth on the coffee table next to the sofa. Kai didn't have the heart to tell him that it was a planned attack and most of the uni knew about it. 

Sehun said nothing as Kai unbuttoned his shirt and replaced it with a warm long sleeved top and hoodie. He'd stopped crying. "Take those off." Kai pointed at his trousers. Sehun took them off and handed them to Kai who took them to the bathroom with Sehun's other clothes. He quickly returned with a pair of warm jogging bottoms and handed them to Sehun. Kai couldn't help glancing and saw the bruises on Sehun's knees, he was so cold Kai noticed, that his leg hairs were on end. Sehun pulled the jogging bottoms up past his pants and sat down, pulling the hood over his head. The bottoms were too small for Sehun and his ankles stuck out awkwardly. Kai sat down as well and Sehun turned and looked at him for the first time.

"mmmmm warm" he tilted his head back cutely and smiled with his mouth closed.

Kai cleared his throat slightly, picked up the bowl of water and balanced it in his lap. Then he dampened the cloth and started cleaning Sehun's face. As he pushed Sehun's mop of hair out of the way he looked directly at Kai, his eyes still slightly red. Kai coughed again and carried on washing Sehun's face, getting rid of the tear lines and cleaning the blood from his nose while Sehun watched him work.

"Kai how did they know." he finally said.

"I don't know" Kai said shortly. Although he knew it was because Kyungsoo had seen them in the changing rooms together and had told people. 

After Sehun was in bed and asleep Kai began work on cleaning his clothes. He looked down at the sad dark pile of clothes on his white bathroom floor and felt such a deep sense of pain and anger. He bent down and sorted out the whites from the darks and picked up Sehun's bag, it still smelled like piss. Somebody had picked it up after Sehun left and Kyungsoo had brought it to Kai who had emptied it and tried to wash the bag with a cloth. Sehun's phone and a few pens were broken, the mirror on his key chain was broken too-Kai would buy a knew one with Justin Bieber on it to cheer him up. He noticed a small bottle ring amongst Sehun's many key charms and wondered what it was. He realised he would have to lie and say that someone had found the keys somewhere without the bag, he didn't want to keep reminding Sehun of what had happened and he didn't want him to see what they'd done to his stuff.   
After washing up Kai went to his room to get his pajamas and stopped for a minute to watch Sehun sleeping, he was gently whistling through his nose, mouth open. It was nice to see him finally peaceful, he always seemed so stiff and formal, like he was worried of being human. Satisfied, Kai left the room and slept on the sofa. 

Kai woke late. Sehun was gone and a note saying "Thank you~" was left on the bed. 

\---

"I've never liked anyone before but I like you" Sehun abruptly remarked one tutorial. Kai paused for a moment.

"I know what you're trying to say, you really don't have to say it." He was frowning and looking down at his feet.

"No, you don't understand. I like you, really." Sehun asserted. "I like you I like you I like you. and I'm actually ok with it" he grinned at the end. "Can i sleep over tonight."

After watching a film together (Sehun fell asleep) Sehun went to wash up first. He came out of the bathroom when he was brushing his teeth and did a little dance until Kai laughed and Sehun almost spat toothpaste everywhere. Smiling, as they passed each other they exchanged places. Sehun turned off the bedroom light and got into bed, pulling the duvet up by his neck, thankful that Kai had let him wear his clothes again because it smelled like him. When Kai came out of the bathroom he went to the sofa where he found a note that said; 

 

"Don't sleep on the sofa.

(I want you to...)" 

 

Glad for the invitation but unaware of the boundaries Kai crawled in behind Sehun, aware that he was topless. He was extra careful not to disturb Sehun, feeling him breathing he presumed Sehun had fallen asleep already. Sehun turned slightly towards Kai and tugged on his arm as if asking him to come closer, Kai scooted up and nuzzled into the back of his neck while Sehun drew Kai's arm around him to his face and kissed his fingers. Kai could feel how warm Sehun's cheeks were and, kissing his spine, he closed his eyes and fell into warm sleep.


	4. ---넷--- The Resurrection

"It's already too far isn't it...we've gone so far, we can't go back" Sehun said as he pulled one of Kai's t-shirts over his head. It was the morning and Kai was still spread out on his bed. Kai said nothing but just watched Sehun get ready before getting up himself to put the kettle on. 

"Sehun do you want some breakfast?" he shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes please" floated back

Kai smiled all the way through making food.

\---

They'd both agreed that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing and that they shouldn't have to hide who they are for other people. Something that felt so normal and right couldn't be wrong, whatever "wrong" meant. Everybody has a different idea of "wrong" and "right", sometimes you've just got to choose the one that feels the most right to you.

"Do you believe in God Kai?"

"I believe that God would never believe that love was wrong. Love like ours. Surely our love is better than the hatred some people feel towards us...I believe what we have isn't wrong."

It was Wednesday lunchtime, they both had late lectures and had spent the morning walking through town hand in hand. When they entered the University they walked slower than normal, savouring the safety of being in each others company. 

Sehun said quietly "Oh my god, everyone's looking at us..." then leaning into Kai he said "I guess they are all just green with envy, they will never feel the way we do" and he smiled at Kai who smiled back. Nobody said anything as Sehun and Kai entered the lunch room together holding hands, they sat down and ate lunch feeling satisfied with themselves. They agreed to meet later as Kai went to his lecture first and Sehun waited in the library until he had to leave. Kai felt filled with adrenaline, he'd got such a feeling of confidence and comfort from how little everyone seemingly cared, this was all he wanted, to be accepted.

After his lecture, Kai knew something was wrong because Sehun wasn't waiting by the tree out of the front of Uni like he said he would. Phoning him and getting no answer panic was beginning to settle in his stomach, things had been too quiet lately he kept telling himself. He was always worried about Sehun when he wasn't there, the possibility of him being in danger made Kai tense and irritable until he saw Sehun was ok. He counted down the seconds until he would see Sehun and know everything was okay, his life hung on a knife edge the time they weren't together-it went extra slow and felt meaningless. This time he was away from Sehun shouldn't have felt different, but it did. He returned to his flat, finding a package on the table, Sehun must have put it there in the morning. Tearing the shiny wrapping paper and green tissue paper apart he saw the most beautiful ring. It had tiny acid green apples set into a glossy deep green paint, there were 5 apples and each one had a tiny red gem apart from one which had a green gem. There was a note. It said;

"The colour of life.

(I can't stop thinking about you)"

Taking time to find a chain to put the ring on and occupying himself with the washing up, Kai kept checking his phone at intervals. Dread filled his body as he heard someone knock at the door and relief filled him when he saw it was Sehun, although it took a few seconds to register what he was seeing. 

"Oh my god-"

Sehun had clearly been running, he was sweaty and flushed. He had cuts on his face, and a nose bleed that ran down his neck. He wasn't wearing a jacket and there was blood on his shirt. 

"Just- let me in Kai" he said hurredly as he entered the flat "They- they- wwere waiting out the front for me" he took hasty breaths, shuddering when he breathed in. Gesturing wildly he said "they tied my hands together and they said they were going to r- ra- rape me but I ran I got up and ran and the ties loosened but they ran after me and I- I- I don't know, I just kept running until I came here" he exhaled.

"Ok ok, it's fine, sit down and I'll sort you out" Kai gestured towards the sofa.

"But is it always going to be like this? Are we going to have to watch our backs everywhere we go? Carry on like nothing is wrong when our friends and family think we're doing wrong? They think we're disgusting Kai...my parents hate me. This is...I don't think I can do this..." 

"Come on, come here" Kai pulled Sehun into him "It's not always going to be like this, one day we will wake up and the world will be like heaven...they will understand and instead of fearing us they will love us" Sehun said nothing but he knew Kai was right, Sehun couldn't leave anyway...there was no way of going back to how it was, they had both changed.

Kai broke away finally "Take your clothes off, I'll shower you"

"Will you come in with me?"

"If you want me to..." Kai was busy folding the clothes Sehun was handing him, but his heart was thumping loudly in his ears.

"I want you to." Sehun said, matter of factly.

\---

Getting undressed for the shower Kai was extra careful to not look at Sehun, he waited until Sehun got into the front of the shower before taking off his pants and getting in behind him. He grabbed the shower head and noticing Sehun was getting goosepimples assured him he would warm up soon. Kai got his flannel wet and soapy and handed it to Sehun to wash his face with. After washing his face, armpits and cock Sehun handed the flannel back to Kai and stood akwardly with his arms in front of him. Kai washed the flannel again, added more soap and began washing Sehun's back, taking sweeping strokes over his shoulder blades. Aware that he was getting hard he tried to pull his hips backward awkwardly so Sehun wouldn't feel it. Kai coughed into the silence.

"Kai why don't you ever touch me there"

"Uh what, what are you talking about..." Kai dropped the flannel, nobody bent down to pick it up. 

Sehun said nothing but jerked his head backwards as if to ask again.

"I...I just always feel like- I don't want to be forcing you to do anything you don't want to do...I don't want to take advantage of you or pressure you into doing anything or- or-"

Sehun took Kai's hand and led it down where he was already hard, linking his fingers over him and closing his eyes. He turned to face Kai, with his hand on Kai's chest he nuzzled into his neck.

"I want you to, Kai" he said quietly. 

Kai wanted to ask if he was absolutely sure but he couldn't say anything. Instead he turned his head upwards and kissed Sehuns wet mouth. Rolling his hand over Sehun's wet back, his hands settled into the curve. Kai tilted his head back as Sehun began kissing his neck and bending down to suck his ear lobes. Sehun put both his arms around Kai, dropping kisses all over his face and pushing his hair back he pulled Kai into him. Sehun's breathing was becoming more desperate as they moved together. 

"Wait Sehun wait a second. I don't want to do it here" Kai stopped Sehun and held his face, looking into his eyes as he said with a raspy voice "The bed- I want to take you to the bed"

Getting out of the shower Kai picked up a towel from the floor and began slowly drying Sehun's wet soapy body. Sehun didn't take his eyes off Kai as he led him to the bedroom, the temperature change hit them both as their skin prickled. Kai closed the door and took in the sight of Sehun standing in front of his bed. Embracing him gently, Kai delicately nipped at Sehuns lips, kissing his neck and collarbones, licking his adams apple. 

Sehun let himself be pushed back gently onto the bed, leaning his elbows on the pillows as Kai got onto the bed in front of him. Kai reached over him briefly to open the bedside draw and grab some lube. They looked at each other for a few seconds, breathing heavily. Kai parted Sehun's legs and bent over him, kissing along his stomach, past his ribs until he firmly flicked Sehun's nipple with his tongue. Seeing that Sehun had thrown his head back in pleasure Kai spent some more time sucking and playing with his nipples. Kai looked up at Sehun, his face was turned away and his eyes were closed, a deep pink flush had settled into his cheeks and lips. 

"Is this okay? Do you like it?" Kai breathed into his neck as he began running his hand over Sehun's long cock.

"I like it" he moaned.

Sehun let out a low growl when Kai slid his thumb over his head. Kai was itching to enter Sehun but didn't know how to ask, Sehun's face was still turned away and his eyes closed. 

"Sehun is this okay? Can I-" 

Sehun looked up when Kai said his name, they held each others gaze while Kai was still running his hands over Sehun. Content that he had permission, Kai moved lower down the bed. Licking all up Sehun's thigh he began running his fingers up Sehun's cock. He took in the beauty of the sight, the shiny pink head of Sehun's cock, his wet pink lips, his nipples, the occasional spasm through his stomach. He grazed the top of Sehun's head with his tongue, feeling Sehun's body twinge in response. Sehuns smell filled his nose as he held his cock to sweep up it with his tongue, his fingers brushing Sehun's dark pubic hair. Kai looked up at Sehun who's mouth was opening and closing noiselessly. Occasionally he would whine and buck his hips with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth gaping. Kai had stopped sucking him and, flicking the lid off the bottle of lube slowly fed his finger into Sehun, pumping slowly without using the whole finger. With his other hand Kai reached up and linked his fingers with one of Sehun's hands which he noticed was shaking. Resting his head on Sehun's pelvis Kai eased another finger into him, who began softly grunting.

"Kai Kai Kai-" Sehun urgently whispered as he tapped Kai's shoulder.

"Ok" Kai said and got up on his knees, pulling Sehun's hips down to meet him. "Ok" he said again before he pushed the head of his cock into Sehun. He leant forward towards Sehun to ease his hips down on him, moaning at how good it felt to be inside him. He looked down at Sehun who's face was screwed up. 

"Is it okay? I can stop"

"...no don't stop" Sehun shook his head, bringing Kai's face down so he could kiss him, their tongues meeting. Kai got up onto his knees, holding the back of Sehun's legs as he thrust several times abruptly into him.

"Ah! Kai" he took desperate sharp intakes of breath. Whimpering he said "Kai I think I'm gonna come I think I'm gonna come"

Kai grunted "Wait. I'm gonna come too, wait" Kai dropped down until he could feel Sehun's cock rubbing against his stomach and began grinding rhythmically into him. Closing his eyes, he burrowed his head in Sehun's neck where Sehun could hear his hurried grunting. Sehun, grabbing the back of Kai's head, feeling orgasm about to take him whined a few times and let it take hold of him, bucking upwards into Kai's stomach.

"Ah Kai Kai" he sobs before the strangled cry hits him. Kai feels Sehun clenching around him and the wetness on his stomach and throwing his head backwards, comes inside Sehun. 

"Fuck...Sehun, fuck." Kai moaned as he pulled his cock out of Sehun.

Kai lay down on the bed, only one thing on his mind. Sehun got up and went to the bathroom to wash himself and go to the toilet, returning to Kai already fast asleep. He smiled to himself, got into bed and pulled the covers up to his neck. They both slept through until late morning. When Sehun woke Kai was looking at him, he started giggling and Kai smiled back and they both stayed laughing like that for a few minutes.

\---

Sehun and Kai's relationship hadn't gone unnoticed by everyone. Parents were complaining to the University, enough to make the staff uncomfortable. They were caught in the predicament of trying to look open minded while there were a lot of narrow minded people with a lot of power influencing them. In a few months Kai knew he would have completed his degree and it was time to think about his future, his plan had always been to go travelling alone, probably to Europe but now that he had Sehun he knew he could be happy anywhere. He didn't have to run, he wanted to be anywhere or everywhere as long as Sehun was there. On the way back from a tutorial Kai could see Sehun sat outside waiting for him. Kyungsoo was walking towards him and Kai was fully prepared to blank him like usual but Kyungsoo had apology in his eyes. Kai stopped. 

"I want you to know that I think you're brave, and right." Kyungsoo murmured, looking ahead of him.

Kai said nothing but moved as if to bow, Kyungsoo had already moved on. Going out to where Sehun was he could see that Sehun was in a mood about something. His eyes were dark and his brows furrowed in frustration, when he stood up he walked jerkily in front of Kai. Sehun kept giving Kai the cold shoulder all the way back on the bus and Kai was too exhausted to ask or care why.

\---

As soon as Sehun was in the flat and Kai had closed the door Sehun was upon him, pushing Kai back hard onto the front door. Kai cried out in pain. Angry lips were pressed forcefully against him as Kai felt his arms being held above him. 

"Oh god Kai" Sehun breathed out, his hand snaking up Kai's tshirt.

Swiftly pulling Kai's jacket off and t-shirt over his head, Sehun quickly took his own clothes off apart from his pants. He undid Kai's belt and drew it out slowly, wrapping it around his hand as he continued to kiss Kai. Kai took off his jeans and pants, awkwardly still in his socks. He was taken back by Sehun's domination and wasn't sure what to do so he just stood there and let himself be taken. Sehun's nose and chin were pink from kissing as he unwound the belt and swung it around Kai's body, pulling Kai into him against the wall. Letting Kai's hands find his cock through his pants Sehun threw his head back against the wall. He sharply grabbed Kai's hands and drew them together, snaking the belt around Kai's wrists and binding them against his stomach. Neither of them said a word, Kai stared up at Sehun, amazed. 

Sehun delicately pushed Kai towards the floor where he joined him, pulling Kai's legs up so he was on his back. Sitting, Sehun kissed Kai's knees and ran his hands up his legs.

"God Kai" Sehun said breathlessly, caressing up Kai's thighs and reaching below him to dig his nails into the flesh of Kai's ass. Licking all over his fingers Sehun pushed Kai's legs up and forced the tips of his fingers into his ass. Kai let out a wince of pain.

Sehun opened his fingers inside Kai causing his body to twitch uncomfortably. Kai's forehead and neck glistened with sweat and his teeth were pressed together, sucking sharp breaths of air in.

"Sehun-" But Sehun cut him off. Sehun's eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he moved his fingers in and out of Kai, scraping his teeth across Kai's tanned thighs. 

"Oh god Kai" Sehun moaned repeatedly, kissing the deep red head of Kai's cock.

Sehun pulled out of him, signalling Kai to get up onto his knees before turning him around and pushing him down on all fours in front of him.

"Sehun, wait. Ah!" Kai protested as Sehun positioned his cock and thrust into Kai, gripping onto his hips and pulling him back. 

"Uhh" Kai wheezed with pain, bucked forward by Sehun's force. Sehun, running his hands along Kai's warm skin grunted with each thrust.

"Don't ever leave me Kai"

"Sehun-" Kai let out breathy gasps as Sehun lifted him up onto his knees and stopped thrusting, wrapping his arms around pulling him close, digging his nails into his chest. Eyes closed, biting Kai's shoulder then flipping him over onto his back, 

"Come in my mouth." Sehun looked at Kai provocatively. "I want you to come in my mouth." 

Sehun bent down to take Kai's cock in his mouth, licking up his balls to the tip before taking him fully. Looking up at Kai and slurping loudly Sehun rapidly pushed two fingers into Kai's ass, stroking his prostate. 

"Hahhh! Fuck!" Kai shouted, each sharp intake of breath heightening Sehun's enjoyment. Kai extended his bound arms above him as his body stretched with pleasure while Sehun covered his dick with his mouth and took in all of Kai's come. Swallowing the mouthful and sucking his fingers Sehun then slowly licked up Kai's body, tasting the sweat around his neck. Kai who responds gratefully to his kisses. After a final lick of Kai's upper lip Sehun got onto Kai's chest, holding his cock with one hand he began pumping himself, fingers entwining with Kai's hair. Stroking the side of Kai's face to make Kai look at him they hold each others gaze until Sehun's eyes roll towards heaven, letting out a strangled cry and coming over Kai's mouth. Once he was done he bent down and licked around Kai's dripping mouth, settling onto his full lips in a deep kiss. Sehun pushed Kai's hair away from his face, kissing his forehead as Kai said simply,

"Fuck."

Kai looked at Sehun with heavily lidded eyes, smiled slightly and pulled him down onto his chest.

"I need the toilet" he said suddenly, rushing to get up and jogging to the bathroom. Sehun laughed lightly and went to the kitchen sink to wash his dick. That evening they both watched University Challenge (Sehun couldn't get any of the answers right and fell asleep). Falling asleep in each others arms they awoke the next day and started packing.

\---

Four months later, in the freshness of spring, a calm breeze blows through the bushes in front of a block of flats in London. Two young men live there. One of them is attending a prestigious University, the other one is in the process of publishing his first Sociological study. Every day they taste the fruits of the forbidden tree and every day they get more delicious.

"Good morning heaven" Kai said, watching the angel in bedsheets writhing before he woke. Kai brushed the mop of green hair out of Sehun's eyes. 

"사랑해"

\---

"Imagine there's no heaven  
It's easy if you try  
No hell below us  
Above us only sky  
Imagine all the people  
Living for today...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one"


End file.
